Get your popcorn ready for the billionaire battle royale over the blue bird.

Everyone knows that Twitter sucks right now. Love it or hate it, Donald Trump was the main attraction at Twitter. Elon has filled the role with a slightly different tone. Trump was like a fire-breathing dragon on Twitter. He knew he had a big gun, and he used it often and effectively, but he wasn’t an accurate shooter. If he was aiming at a particular target he would take out the target but he would also burn down the forest directly behind the target.

Elon is more of a sniper. If you watch him closely, he’s the ultimate sales guy. Wherever he goes he adopts the local culture. When he’s in Texas at a major event he wears the cowboy hat. When he heads overseas to Asia he’s all about anime culture. He’s a meme guy, and I certainly like that about him. He uses both humor cleverly.

One thing they do have in common, is that they’re both ballers. Trump’s hotel in DC is sexy as hell, there’s no other way to put it. It has Ivanka’s creamy, light touch style, with the classic gold tones to compliment, but not the loud gold that you traditionally associate with the Trump brand. If you’ve ever been to Mar-A-Lago, well, it’s like Florida’s version of Downton Abbey…(more below)

Elon is a baller in a different way. He says he’s taking the human species to Mars, and I TOTALLY believe him. The dude builds rockets, tunnels, cars and tiny chips that will eventually go in our brains…by the way fuck that. Bottom line, Elon is kind of a modern day industrial/tech Jesus. He does so much outlandish shit, it all seems to work out in his favor (remember the dog coin) and he doesn’t really show any signs of slowing down. The things he does really do seem like magic to the point where I wouldn’t be surprised if some psychotic asshole created some sort of Elon cult.

It’s hilarious that Elon is solo-fighting off mega hedge funds for control of the major media corporation Twitter. Personally, I am quite skeptical that he is actually a free speech advocate, just like I’m skeptical of anyone who has quadrillions. In the end, I am definitely cheering for Elon and Trump over the likes of Bill (saggy tits) Gates. That guy is truly the worst. Go get your Twitter Elon!